Dark Skies & His Goodness

How do I navigate a world I do not understand?

What words can I use to comfort the hurting when my own heart breaks?

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This weekend my husband, Joseph and I will celebrate one year of marriage! What a significant milestone in our lives together. At points though, it has seemed like I am living under gray skies and dark clouds.

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Our marriage has been quite the journey. For those of you that have walked close beside us,  this will not come as a surprise. After getting married I struggled for nine months to find full-time employment. My husband has also been laid-off twice in the last year. He is currently job searching. As a couple, we have gone through rough patches, both emotionally and financially. We have had significant seasons wrought with pain and hurt. Transparency about our struggle has make me vulnerable and weary – many times over.

At points our spiritual journey has reflected our marriage – it has been a rollercoaster. I have doubted the Lord’s timing and at points even questioned his plan.

Music, though, which has always been close to my heart, has strengthened and encouraged me during the times in the desert.

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The video above of Ellie Holcomb’s song – He Will has been played on repeat during my commute to work this week. It speaks such sweet truth about the Lord’s goodness in the midst of confusion and chaos.

My dear friends, I can attest to the fact that the Lord is not always an immediate healer – I can say, with confidence however, that he is faithful and good. He will bring provision in his timing – if we choose to trust.  I pray that our story of struggle can be of encouragement to you – God is faithful, both in the valley or on the mountain.

He is good and He will provide, bring peace, heal in his own way, love, and comfort us. Choose today to trust him!

In Over My Head

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Friends – I have some exciting news to share! God has been working and providing in my life in a huge way! He is so good! For months,  my prayer was that God would provide a place of professional employment for me.

I prayed. Waited. And prayed some more. Nothing.

Finally, when’s the Lord’s timing was right, I received a job offer from Goal Academy (High School) for an Administrative Assistant position at their Greeley site.

I was hesitant at first but felt such an overwhelming sense of peace from the Lord about accepting the position. So, I did. On July 17th, I officially started. Though my journey with Goal has only just begun, I have already learned so much. This, I can say with confidence is where the Lord wants me during this season of life.

A little background about Goal Academy. We are an online-hybrid high school that specializes in assisting at-risk students in completing their high school diploma. We are the largest school of our type across the nation and have thousands of students, 27 drop-in sites across the state, and almost 300 staff. Our mascots are gladiators, because we fight and advocate for our students and their education with a passion to help create productive members of society.

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This week, the majority of our staff has gathered together in Colorado Springs to attend mandatory training sessions to assist us in starting off our school year on a strong note. It has been an experience far outside my comfort zone to be constantly engaging with complete strangers, as well as nurturing new relationships with colleagues.

My theme song this week however, has been In Over My Head, by Jenn Johnson. My prayer has been that the Lord would use this experience, challenging and new, as it may seem, to take me deeper in my relationship with him. I also pray that He would use me to be a light in the darkness of  ‘my work world.’ I desire so strongly, to show His love to the students, families, and coworkers with whom I will interact on a daily basis.

This however, will not be possible if I choose to be rigid and resistant when the Holy Spirit prods at my heart. Friends, if you are willing, please remember me in your prayers as I step into my role with Goal Academy. Pray that the Lord will continue to work in my heart and use me, as he wills – to share his grace, love, and forgiveness with those I met.

I am so excited and thankful for this opportunity and look forward to sharing with you how God works in and through me while I work for Goal.

If you would like to check out our school website you can find that here.

The Cummins Clan: Who We Are

I have blogged for years and only just now realized that I’ve never written a piece introducing you to my family! Some of you may know them, and if not, I’m sure you know about them. Either way, buckle-up as I walk you through who we, the Cummins Clan are!

| The photo you see above is our most recent family photo, taken January 2017, when we gathered together in Duncanville, Texas for a belated Christmas celebration.  |

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I would be remiss to begin this post by sharing about anyone other than my parents, Cory & Julie Cummins. Honestly, there would be no Cummins Clan without them. These two individuals fell in love, founded a relationship on the Lord, got married in 1990, and over the years added seven children to their their unique and special family.

Early on in their marriage they felt a mutual call to music and missions and joined Wycliffe Bible Translator’s Ethnomusicology and Arts (Center for Excellence in World’s Arts) Department in 2000. Since then they have continued their calling, Cory working in the Dallas office and Julie teaching and nurturing at home. Together, Cory & Julie have formed a excellent example of love, patience, and trust in the Lord for their children to follow. They are currently continuing to raise their youngest four children at home in Duncanville, Texas.

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Morelle the oldest Cummins child grew up reading anything she could get her hands on, inspiring some of  her siblings to follow in her footsteps. She graduated from high school and community college in 2010 and went on to complete both a bachelors and masters. She fell in love with the (literal) guy next-door and Morelle and Matthew Lauber got married May 2015. They added to their family in May 2016 when Meadow was born. Matthew, Morelle, and Meadow Lauber are currently homesteading in Grants Pass, Oregon. Morelle works as an occupational therapist and Matthew works their land, tends to their animals, and takes care of Meadow.

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Cora grew up, as the second oldest of the Cummins siblings, often in the kitchen baking. She graduated from high school and community college in May 2012 and chose to attend Southern Nazarene University in the fall. She graduated with a bachelors in Public Relations in May 2014. After graduation, Cora worked at Golden Bell Camp in Colorado where she met Joseph Rattle. They fell in love and got married in September 2016. They are now living in Fort Collins, Colorado. Cora works as an Administrative Assistant for Goal Academy and Joseph works as a utility locator (aka. damage prevention technician). Joseph & Cora Rattle are actively involved in their church and are loving married life.

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Elsie, the third child, could easily be described as patient and loving. She was often the calm in the midst of sibling storms. She too graduated from community college simultaneously with high school, in May 2014. She met the love of her life, Brandon Pearce, at a week-long course in Dallas, Texas. They dated long distance for a while and got married in Maryland, in August 2015. Brandon & Elsie Pearce are expecting their first baby, July 2017.

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Adelaide Cummins, the middle child, has always been full of wanderlust. She has ventured out of the country several times and graduated from high school/community college in 2016. She currently works as a housekeeper for Champions Cove, a high-end retirement community in Duncanville, Texas. She is in love with nature and is continually seeking out where new adventures may take her!

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Tella Cummins – the oldest son in the Cummins Clan graduated from high school/community college in 2017 and is continuing to determine what comes next for him. When he’s not researching colleges or career options, Tella enjoys creative building and designing with Legos. He is also an avid ultimate frisbee player!

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Child number six, Nahum Cummins, has always had an an eye for things technological. He is heading into his junior year in high school, and over the summer is working full-time. He loves jamming on his guitars or playing ultimate frisbee with friends and family when he is not working.

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Laneah Cummins, the baby of the family, is just as important a member of the family, as any of the other siblings. Going into the seventh grade, she is a nature and animal lover who spends most of her time outdoors. Laneah has a vivacious passion for people and life!

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Growing up in a large family was certainly a unique experience, but one I wouldn’t trade for the whole world. Being a member of the Cummins Clan has shaped who I am as a person. We have traveled across the United States and world as a family and made memories we will never forget. Our journey is continually changing, but I am ever so thankful for the tribe with which I get to do life.

If you are curious about some of the adventure we have taken (for example: road trips to Alaska, backpacking trips across Texas, or holiday challenges) check out our family YouTube Channel here.

Displacing Fear

Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life. – Philippians 4:6-7 (The Message)

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Do you ever read scripture and feel at a complete loss for words…?

This passage from Philippians 4, takes my breath away. Wow!

I struggle with fear and anxiety on a regular basis and yet scripture provides such a simple ‘formula’ to remove it. Instead of worrying –  pray. Then, God will come and bring peace to our hearts, displacing fear.

This passage of scripture explains that if we can resist the urge to worry and instead choose prayer as our weapon, Christ will displace our concerns and fill our hearts with peace.

What a beautiful word – displace. According to the Merriam Webster dictionary, displace means, “to expel or force [something] to flee.”

Christ doesn’t just ask our fear to leave – he makes it leave. He changes the focus of our hearts, and realigns it with his heart, bringing peace.

I don’t know about you but, I could use a lot more peace in my life.

From experience, I have learned that God is always teaching me and shaping me into the woman he desires me to be. One lesson God always seem to circle back around to, in my life, has been the elimination of worry and anxiety.

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During the most recent season of my life, this passage, Philippians 4:6-7 has constantly been a reminder to relinquish my fears, concerns, and anxieties to the Lord, through prayer.

I don’t know what your journey looks like or what the Lord is teaching you. However, my prayer would be for you, that the Lord may fill your heart daily with peace and cause your anxieties to flee. Trust Him friends!

Thy Will Be Done

 

Today I had another job interview.

I’ve started to lose count of how many positions I have applied and interviewed for since September 2016. There have been a lot – trust me.

Many have been rejections. From some I have never even heard a response. All have lead to dead ends though, so far.

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Today, as I walked into my interview though, my prayer was Lord, thy will be done. Regardless of my selfish desires and wayward ways, my heart’s cry is that God’s will and plan will ultimately reign in my life.

Though, I felt discouraged [and a lot of self-doubt] walking out – I knew, deep down, that his plan was better than anything I could picture. Whether this job is ‘the one’ for me or not, I want his will to be done in my heart and life.

I do not understand why it has taken this long to find a place of long-term employment. I don’t understand God’s ‘big picture’. This I know though, “sometimes I have got to stop and remember that you’re God and I am not.” – (Hillary Scott & The Scott Family – Thy Will)

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Scripture is full of the stories of individuals that have submitted to God’s will. The stories that follow are full of victory and beautiful life lessons. What wonderful examples for us learn from. Though there is no guarantee that our desires will be grated if we submit to God’s timing, we can speak in faith:

Romans 8:28 (NIV): “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”

The times of waiting may perhaps be more beneficial for what the Lord wants to teach us then the times of living ‘the dream.’

Be patient my friends and may God’s will be done.

He is the Potter. I am the Clay.

Throughout scripture there are several times that God refers to himself as “the potter” and his people as “the clay. One of these passages being Isaiah 64:8 which reads, But, Lord, you are our Father. We are like clay, and you are the potter. Your hands made us all.”  

When reading these passages, they always seemed like an antiquated description of a relationship with Christ. Throwing (definition: to form on a potter’s wheel) clay seemed like a far more common occupation in Biblical times than modern-day. I’d never thrown clay before…not until Saturday, April 15, that is.

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My sister-in-law Emily was coming into town for Easter, which meant that our schedule was about to get jam-packed (in a good way) with all kinds of family outings, board game nights, dinner plans, church activities, and the family Easter lunch.

Leading up to the Easter weekend we received a text from Mom Rattle asking if we were interested in throwing pottery with the family on Saturday afternoon. From what I’ve heard, the Rattle family is no stranger to pottery, seeing as they used to paint it once a year as a Christmas tradition. Emily and Joey had also taken a community college pottery class in high school. For me however, the whole idea of pottery, either making it or painting it, was a new and exciting idea.

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With full stomachs of Beau Jo’s Pizza, we walked into Smokestack Pottery eager and ready to learn. The class we would be taking would come with complete instruction and supervision and would allow each of us to create up to four pieces. I was beyond excited and yet a little apprehensive of my limited artistic abilities being on display for all to see. However, once the class began, and I got my hands on some clay, my nerves calmed a little. Let me not mislead you here, throwing pottery is not easy. It is certainly an art, one I have yet to (and may never) master.

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What I’m getting to here, is that after throwing pottery myself, I can understand more clearly the Biblical references of God being “the potter” and us, his people, being “the clay”.

See, a potter must have a gentle and yet firm touch. If the potter’s hands are too weak or limp, the clay will go out of control and never be formed into a final piece. If the potter’s hands are too firm and unyielding, the clay will break, and again, never be a formed properly.

This reminds me so greatly of a relationship with Christ. He is all-knowing and loves unconditionally. Therefore, he uses a gentle but firm hand to teach, and mold, and form his children into beautiful things. He also, often, takes “the clay” in a direction that seems unexpected, and yet, he knows what the ultimate piece (image and picture – life) will look like. He is the ultimate master and potter. We are the clay.

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So, in conclusion, I will end with my heart’s prayer – the words to Change My Heart, Oh God by Roby Duke:

Change my heart, oh God. Make it ever true. Change my heart, oh God. May I be like you. You are the potter. I am the clay. Mold me and make me. This is what I pray. 

 

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Photo Credit: Nina Rattle

Tears In The Night

It was 12:30am and I was sitting on my living room floor, Bible sprawled open, worship music playing, journaling fiercely, tears streaming down my cheeks. What brought me to this point? Was is just too long a week? Or maybe the combination of job search frustrations? Maybe sleep deprivation? Whatever the ultimate reason, I was here, on the floor, crying out to God, in the early hours of the morning.

Have you read the book of Jonah? (If not, I would highly recommend it!) Anyway, in Jonah 2 he finds himself crying out to the Lord from the belly of a fish – a real fish. Symbolically though, you could say that he was at his lowest, deepest point. His life wasn’t turning out like he’d expected and he needed his plans to be realigned with the will of God.

This scripture passage, Jonah 2, was where I felt the Lord directing me. Folks, after reading the whole chapter, through tear streams, I found myself relating to Jonah. My life, leading up to that 12:30am breakdown had not gone ‘picture-perfectly’ the way I’d desired. Married life was wonderful but, at the same time I was still job searching for 6 months and counting. There were holes in my life that needed filling and God didn’t seem to be answering all of my prayers (in my timing). There were moments that I questioned if he heard…or cared.

As I read though I began to hear the Lord speak to me through scripture. Jonah 2:2 read,     “[..] In my distress I called to the Lord, and he answered me. From deep in the realm of the dead I called for help, and you [God] listened to my cry.” 

If the Lord could hear Jonah’s prayers from the belly of a fish, in the depths of the ocean, he could hear mine. My heart’s cry was being heard. The Lord knew my desires and was answering them moment by moment, day by day, in his timing. I could rest assured that the Lord was hearing my heart and knew the deepest desires hidden there! Why he chose not to answer things how I wanted at times, I may never know. This I do know though, he does not turn a deaf ear to his children’s cries. Amen!

Joy & Peace!

The world is a broken place. You know it’s true.

Death. Cancer. Miscarriages. Financial Struggles. Hurting Families. Abuse. Poverty.

These words and so many more have become a part of the common conversations of life. The people around us, in our churches, our neighborhoods, and even in our homes are hurting.

It seems particularly wrong at this time of year though, when we, as believers, celebrate the greatest gift ever given. Yet so many, are mourning loss – deeply hurting. (Do you see where I’m going here…?) Why is it that a gracious, loving God allows for so much pain to exist in the world?

I can’t answer that question my friends. I know though, that our Father sees no delight in his children suffering. His heart is broken for the mourning.

A word of comfort I found in scripture this week. In John 16 Jesus is speaking with his disciples. After sharing with them a glimpse of what the future would hold he shared these words. “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” 

I believe that Christ’s words were meant for us as well! He is our Peace – our comfort in times of trouble! Lean into the Lord this Christmas season and allow for him to be your source of joy and peace! Allow him to take your hurt and replace it with praise!

He is so good!

Reflections On Thankfulness

The weather is starting to cool down here in Fort Collins, Colorado. Therefore, the thought of any outdoor activities have been traded in for the reality of cozy days indoors preparing for the holidays. The Christmas tree has been set up. (An excellent purchase from Target on sale!) The festive candles are emitting lovely aromas and I’m sipping a hot cup of coffee! Life is a joy!

With Thanksgiving right around the corner, I have been reflecting a significant amount on 2016 and what it has held for me so far. It didn’t take me long to realize that I have so much to be thankful for this year!

I began the year in Sofia, Bulgaria serving a phenomenal missionary community as an educator to their children. Those five months hold a special place in my heart. I am so thankful that I was given the opportunity to travel, see Europe, and make life long friends – all at the same time. What a way to start off the year that was! Following my return to the United States in June, I was proposed to by my (at the time) boyfriend, Joseph. I couldn’t have been more blessed and surprised! Throughout the summer I was privileged to travel across the country and up to Alaska with my family (and the world’s sweetest friend, Ellie Mae)! Those six weeks will remain a bright spot in my heart for the years to come! It was a road trip to remember! The rest of the summer I prepared for married life and our wedding by packing, planning, and having plenty of quality family time!

In September, my family and I traveled up to Divide, Colorado a couple days before Joseph & I’s wedding to decorate and set up at Golden Bell Campground! I am so thankful for all of the sweet friends and family that helped make our wedding day picture perfect! Looking back on September 10, I wouldn’t change a thing! The weather was lovely, the location picturesque, those in attendance (and those in spirit) precious! It was both a magical and memorial day! I am so thankful!

So sitting here in my rocking chair in our cozy warm apartment, my heart overflows! 2016 has been a year for the memory books! Europe – Alaska – Family – Marriage! I am so thankful and blessed to be surrounded by incredible, loving people and have made memories of a lifetime this year! I’m not sure what the Lord has next for this young married couple but I sure am thankful for the blessings given us this year!

 

 

 

 

The End Of My Bulgarian Adventure

My time in Bulgaria is coming to a close. It’s reality and fact all wrapped up into one emotional realization. It’s something I cannot deny. Soon I will be leaving Sofia, Bulgaria, and Eastern Europe. My time here, for now, is coming to a close. My ticket has been purchased and the plane will be taking off on June 7. It’s going to feel like time travel because, that night I will be laying in a bed in Texas, my mind swirling with countless emotions and memories. So, with almost all of my time in Bulgaria behind me. What am I going to miss as I head home?

Some of SCA’s students at a tea party hosted by Ms. Cora! 

I would be remiss if the top of my list did not start with my students. These fantastic children were the reason that I came to Bulgaria and they are most certainly the people that I will miss the most! [I honestly wish I could pack them up and bring them home to share with each of you!] I love them so much!  Their smilies are vivacious and their laughter contagious! They are such eager students! Even on the roughest days, they  can raise my spirits! I am so thankful for my students and even though I will miss them next school year, I know that the Lord has great things in store for them! I cannot wait to see what their future holds! They are all bright and shining stars!

Some of the other things that I will miss from my time here in Bulgaria include: the friends I have made amongst my fellow teachers and interns, the delicious food, my favorite coffee shops, the beautiful mountain views, my favorite park, and the easy access to nature!

Although my journey to Bulgaria and my time here were not constantly smooth or easy going, I am so thankful for the opportunity I was given to teach at Sofia Christian Academy! Anthony Bourdain said, Travel changes you. As you move through this life…you leave marks behind, however small. In return, life – and travel – leaves marks on you. For me that rings true. My time in Bulgaria has changed me, matured me, and taught me so much about love and life, as well as helped me deepen my relationship with the Lord. I am hopeful that my time here as well will have changed and made in impact in some small way in the lives of my students and their families.

So, as my journey here ends, what is next?

Two days after arriving home I will be embarking on another adventure. This time I will be traveling across the United States and up through Canada, to Alaska with my family on an almost six week road trip. Time to process and transition from one adventure to the next will be hardly measurable. Prayers would greatly be appreciated, that the Lord will give me energy, strength, and traveling mercies for my return trip to Texas and my short transitional period.

[If you would like to follow along with my family’s summer adventures – we will be posting video blogs every day on our trip (June 9-July 19)! Check out our Facebook page and Youtube channel for updates!]

As I prepare to return home, I am anticipating a busy summer schedule. Regardless of this though, I would love to get coffee with you, catch up, share about my time overseas, and hear about how the Lord has been working in your life. If you are interested in meeting up over the summer or into the fall, please let me know! Thank you for your prayers! Blessings in the name of the Lord!